From the scrolls of Quintus 2

Adventures can sometimes even be found in one’s own village. My heroine found a scroll in the catacombs, close to the burial site of “Sextus Afranius Burrus”.

The downfall of the royal life guards?

Our official haruspex* heralded the end of our Praetorian Guard in the distant future today. This fool really claims that an emperor by the name of Constantine will abolish these impressive life guards. Looks like someone drank too much muslum* and took too close a look at a liver! We don’t trust this self-proclaimed seer too much anyway. Last year, our emperor asked a question “about life, the universe and everything”. After only a week of consideration, he replied: “42”. Sic transit gloria mundi

Just in case what this stolidus*** predicted does actually happen, I, Quintus, will record in this scroll who the Praetorians were, so that future generations will know their story.

The brigade with the sign of the zodiac
The name was quickly chosen; the Praetor had no time to come up with a well-sounding name: Praetorium was one of the nearby tents in the street of the same name in Rome. One day, the soldiers stood in file before their commander.

From then on, they were called the Praetorians, the Imperial Guard. These, for my taste too highly paid, twixters took good care to ensure that no riots occurred. However, they rather paraded as decoration during festivities of the emperor than fight on the front line.

With the exception of their oval shield and the sign of the zodiac, which is always determined by the founder of the unit, they looked little different to other Roman soldiers. The funny thing is that our current emperor’s zodiac sign is that of the Virgo. I’m sure you can imagine how the troops are being laughed at by the defending troops when they choose to attack a village in Travianland.

Burrus, the Gaul prefect among the Romans
The most famous Praetorian so far has been Sextus Afrainus Burrus. He can’t convince me, though. In the past, a Praetorian had to be of Italian descent. But this rascal was a Gaul. What a scandal! Maybe, one day, our units will fall and it is possible that the answer to life, the universe and everything else may actually be “42”.

* A haruspex was a member of a college of priests in the Roman Empire. He foretold events by reading from the innards, preferably the livers, of sacrificed animals.

** Muslum is a type of wine, refined with honey, originating from Rome

*** Latin for “fool”

Leave a Reply